The insight of the CBT model is that it is not events that bother us. Instead, it is the way that we interpret events – the meaning that we give to them – that gives rise to our feelings. This explains why two people experiencing the same event can react in completely different ways. Let’s consider an example:
Figure: How we interpret events determines how we feel about them.
The first interpretation personalizes the events (“What have I done wrong?”) and results in feelings of anxiety. The second interpretation understands the friend’s behavior in more neutral terms and leads to a different outcome.
Figure: Another example of how interpreting events determines how we feel about them.
The first interpretation here is an excited one – the offer of a promotion is viewed as a welcome opportunity. The second interpretation is less positive – the person offered a promotion is making a catastrophic prediction about what is likely to happen and the result is anxiety.
An Old Idea #
This idea about how our interpretation of events matters is not new. Nearly 2000 years ago the Greek philosopher Epictetus said:
“Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things.” Epictetus
Shakespeare said something similar in 1602:
“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare
It may not be a new idea, but it is a powerful one. It explains why some people are pleased when given the opportunity to sing in front of a crowd (“At last, my talent will be recognized!”) when other people would be terrified at the prospect (“I will make a fool of myself and everyone will laugh at me!”).
It can explain why some people often feel very anxious (perhaps they have a habit of interpreting situations as threatening) or very sad (perhaps they have a habit of interpreting situations very negatively).
A Message of Hope #
It’s a hopeful idea too: although we may not always be able to change the situations in which we find ourselves (or the people we meet), we are in charge of how we interpret events. The attitude we bring to a situation, and the perspective we choose to take, determines how we feel. Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the Nazi death camps, said this most powerfully:
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl