Introduction
If you’ve ever tried to suppress a negative thought or push away a painful feeling, you’ve likely noticed a frustrating paradox: the harder you push, the stronger it pushes back. This struggle with our own internal experiences is a universal human challenge. But what if the path to well-being isn’t about winning that fight, but stepping out of the ring entirely?
This is the core premise of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, commonly known as ACT (pronounced “act”). Unlike many traditional therapies that focus on changing or eliminating difficult thoughts, ACT teaches a different approach. It encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings—even the uncomfortable ones—rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them.
In this guide, we will explore the foundations of ACT, its core processes, and how it can help you build a rich, meaningful life, even in the presence of pain.
The Core Philosophy of ACT
Developed in the 1980s by psychologist Steven C. Hayes, ACT is a form of psychotherapy that stems from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). However, it differs significantly from traditional CBT. While standard CBT often emphasizes identifying and challenging negative thoughts (cognitive restructuring), ACT emphasizes psychological flexibility.
Psychological flexibility is the ability to stay in the present moment with awareness and openness. It involves taking action guided by your values, even when difficult thoughts or feelings arise. The goal isn’t necessarily symptom reduction—though that often happens as a byproduct—but rather transforming your relationship with your thoughts.
ACT posits that suffering is a natural part of the human condition. Trying to avoid pain often leads to more suffering. By learning to accept our internal experiences, we free up energy to focus on what truly matters to us.
The Six Core Processes of ACT (The Hexaflex)
ACT is built on six core processes that work together to develop psychological flexibility. These are often represented visually as a hexagon, known as the “Hexaflex.”
1. Acceptance
Acceptance is the alternative to experiential avoidance. It involves making room for painful feelings, urges, and sensations without trying to change their frequency or form. It is not about resignation or “giving up.” Instead, it is an active choice to allow unpleasant experiences to exist without letting them dictate your actions. If you feel anxiety, acceptance means acknowledging, “I am feeling anxious right now,” and allowing that feeling to be there, rather than frantically trying to calm down.
2. Cognitive Defusion
We often get “fused” with our thoughts, believing them to be absolute truths or commands we must obey. Cognitive defusion techniques help us step back and observe our thoughts for what they really are: just bits of language passing through the mind.
For example, instead of thinking, “I am a failure,” defusion encourages you to think, “I am having the thought that I am a failure.” This slight shift in language creates distance, reducing the thought’s emotional impact and power over your behavior.
3. Contact with the Present Moment (Mindfulness)
This process involves bringing full awareness to your here-and-now experience, with openness and interest. It means engaging fully with whatever you are doing right now, rather than getting lost in the past or worrying about the future. Being present allows you to perceive accurate information about your environment and yourself, leading to more effective behavior.
4. The Observing Self (Self-as-Context)
We all have a “thinking self”—the part of us that chatters, judges, and plans. But ACT introduces the concept of the “observing self.” This is the aspect of you that is aware of your thoughts and feelings but is distinct from them. It is the sky that remains constant while the weather (your thoughts and emotions) changes. Connecting with this part of yourself provides a safe perspective from which to experience difficult emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
5. Values
Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. They are not goals (which can be checked off a list) but rather directions in which you want to travel. Do you value connection? Creativity? Courage? Compassion? Clarifying your values provides a compass for your life, giving you motivation to move forward even when obstacles arise.
6. Committed Action
This implies taking effective action guided by your values. It’s about “walking the walk.” All the mindfulness and acceptance in the world won’t change your life unless it translates into behavior. Committed action involves setting goals based on your values and taking steps toward them, even if it means bringing feelings of anxiety or fear along for the ride.
Who Can Benefit from ACT?
Research has shown ACT to be effective for a wide range of conditions and life challenges. Because it focuses on universal human processes rather than specific diagnostic symptoms, it is highly versatile.
Anxiety and Depression
For those struggling with anxiety disorders or depression, ACT offers a way to break the cycle of avoidance. Instead of withdrawing from life to avoid anxiety or lack of motivation, individuals learn to engage in meaningful activities while allowing the symptoms to exist.
Chronic Pain
ACT is particularly well-regarded in the management of chronic pain. While it may not eliminate the physical sensation of pain, it helps individuals stop fighting the pain mentally. This reduction in struggle often leads to lower levels of disability and distress, allowing people to live fuller lives despite their physical limitations.
Substance Abuse and Addiction
In addiction recovery, ACT helps individuals tolerate the discomfort of cravings without acting on them. By clarifying values, people find the motivation to choose long-term health and well-being over short-term relief.
Workplace Stress and Burnout
ACT training in the workplace has been shown to increase resilience and innovation. By learning to defuse from unhelpful thoughts (“I can’t handle this,” “This is unfair”), employees can focus more effectively on problem-solving and collaboration.
What an ACT Session Looks Like
If you decide to work with an ACT therapist, the experience might feel different from other therapies. While you will certainly talk about your problems, the focus will often shift to how you are relating to those problems in the room, right now.
You might engage in experiential exercises. For example, a therapist might ask you to treat your thoughts like passengers on a bus. You are the driver, and while the passengers (thoughts) might shout directions or criticism, you remain in control of where the bus is going.
Sessions are collaborative and active. You will likely be asked to practice skills between sessions, such as mindfulness exercises or taking small steps toward a valued goal. The aim is to build a toolkit of skills that you can apply independently in your daily life.
Moving Forward with Purpose
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy offers a refreshing perspective on mental health. It suggests that a “normal” life includes pain and that happiness is not the absence of suffering, but the richness of living according to your values.
By learning to accept what is out of your control and committing to action that improves your life, you build a type of resilience that is deep and enduring. You stop waiting for the storm to pass and learn how to dance in the rain.
If you are interested in diving deeper into these concepts and learning specific exercises to apply ACT to your own life, I encourage you to read the full chapter in my eBook: What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and How Can It Help You? There, we break down practical applications of the Hexaflex and provide guided steps to help you uncover your core values.
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What Is ACT Therapy? A Guide to Acceptance & Commitment Therapy
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Stop fighting your thoughts and start living. Learn how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you build psychological flexibility and embrace your values.